Thursday, March 19, 2009
Gratitude: realistic people, blue balloons, the Beatles.
Thinking on: This was one of those weeks when I realized that I have a great job. Really. Dealing with the narcissist for the past few weeks made things challenging, granted, but having a boss who actually takes a reasonable look at the situation and ponies up to take care of things. What a joy! Said narcissist is still not speaking to me and I am not feeling generous enough (yet) to speak to him, but one step at a time, yes? After coming off the Taiko drumming week, I chose to have a low-key sort of week singing and dancing with my kids. There is nothing like a rendition of "Let it Be" with small children.
Anticipating: next weeks Marimba Club performance. Good thing we still have two rehearsals left to work on some fine tuning, but boy howdy to they sound great. I am very proud.
TTYO: The little one and I attended TEYO's band concert last night. I think girl trumpet players are ultimately cool. We had a little blue-balloon mishap in the middle of the concert however. TTYO's balloon flew away just as the director was about to make the down beat. The whole crowd, I'm not exaggerating, all 300'ish people, groaned as the balloon floated up to the ceiling. The director stopped, turned around, trying to figure out what the problem was. At this point, TTYO did not notice the AWOL balloon, so there I was trying to distract her while a jumble of elementary band kids were looking at the ceiling, the audience was grumbling and the director was looking terribly confused. Sigh. Does this only happen to me?
Thursday, March 12, 2009
1. "Watch the ball Daddy" (said while playing catch with Dad)
2. "I am going to cry every time my mommy leaves and then I will have fun later." (said to Susan, her babysitter)
3. "Mommy, come here, there are scary dinosaurs on t.v., good Mommy's sit with their babies when the scary dinosaurs are on t.v." (slightly paraphrased for timing)
4. "Be a good Mommy and hold me" (said at church on Sunday)
5. "That's silly mommy, you already have a sister" (said during the Penitential Rite* at church last Sunday)
* I confess to almighty God,
and to you, my brothers and sisters,
that I have sinned through my own fault,
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do . . .
"The term narcissism means love of oneself, and refers to the set of character traits concerned with self-admiration, self-centeredness and self-regard. The name was chosen by Sigmund Freud, from the Greek myth of Narcissus, who was doomed to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Though everyone has some narcissistic traits narcissism can also manifest in an extreme pathological form in some personality disorders such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder wherein the patient overestimates his abilities and has an excessive need for admiration and affirmation. This may be present to such a degree that it severely damages the person's ability to live a productive or happy life because the traits manifest as severe selfishness and disregard for the needs and feelings of others."
Life is challenging these days because of the above. I work with someone who is a textbook definition of the term narcissist and I tell ya, I am having a tough time working along side this person. I'm not to the point of looking for a new job, but I have really had to work hard to decide how I am going to respond when the "person's ability to live a productive or happy life because the traits manifest as severe selfishness and disregard for the needs and feelings of others" get in the way of getting my work done and my kids having rich experiences at school.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Gratitude: being good at what I do, pepto bismol, short-lived flu bugs.
Thinking on: Crazy people and the crazy things they do. So here I am at school trying my darndest to create an authentic, multicultural music experience for my kiddos and I get a toxic email from a crazy coworker complaining about some minutiae that could have easily been addressed in a light-hearted way. But NOOOO, instead, said crazy person, sends an email to me, cc's my boss and gets me upset and distracted from what should be an amazing morning with two amazing master Taiko drummers. Intellectually I know that I should just let it slide off, not bug me, "consider the source" and all that, BUT it hurt my feelings and as the therapist says, "feelings, are feelings are feelings are feelings." So, is it racist to be sick of crazy people?? What's worse is I actually thought this crazy person was my friend and wouldn't treat me like this, but again, the crazy.
Back to Gratitude: my students are amazing, yes, the whole musically rhythmically amazing, but more than that carrying around the life skill of being open and accepting of new and different things. The master drummers told me today how impressed they are with the musicianship in my students but are especially impressed by how open and willing they are to embrace something new without judgement. I can only hope that something I've said, done or modeled helped to bring them to this place.
Still on gooshy on the vampire: Now I'm in to the 4th Snookie Stackhouse book and am still completely sprung on vampires. That is so sick.