Thursday, December 25, 2008

Close to tears

Prayer: We made it through the Snowpocolypse tm. to St. James for a very beautiful Mass, where TEYO sang and TTYO was a peaceful and darling addition to our prayer. The greatest gift I received during that hour was the 15 minutes or so where she let Miss Amy hold her and I actually had a few moments of silent prayer. Yes, as Miss T said, that was one of the few times in the past 3 years.

Friends: After Mass we spent time at the godparents' home, opening gifts, eating pasta, drinking refreshments, and singing a few songs. That was a very nice time, especially since this was our original plan a few weeks ago, but the Snowpocolypse had put our plans in jeopardy. Ah, for the Subaru!

Family: We (I) cancelled the Christmas trek to B'ham due to Snowpocolypse, and received little to no guilt trip from the parental units. Of course, I did have to lay one on myself a bit, because, you know, you just have to.

Christmas Morning: TEYO woke us at 6 a.m. (!) wanting to open stockings, this of course was not a granted request and she climbed in bed and we slept til 8. Then, being the evil mother I am, TEYO had to wait until TTYO woke up (!) and then we had our traditional "emptying of the stockings in Mom and Dad's bed." That was as fun as usual. Presents, coffee, and a yummy breakfast rounded off the morning.

More Friends: the afternoon was spent at Miss Amy's house where we had a "No Grown Up" Christmas. Things were all well until it seemed that our friend who had delivered her baby yesterday called with a medical emergency. Miss A rushed off as the rest of us stopped in our tracks, praying for a true Christmas miracle but feeling very, very worried and sad.
Fortunately, things were not as bad as they seemed. The prayers are continuing. Given my story, this is all very difficult. All of the PTSD shit comes up and I never want my feelings about another's trauma to look like I am making it all about me.

So The Tears: I think Christmas is just plain tricky for me. Probably it is for lots of people for all kinds of reasons. The tears, I'm sure, come from childhood crap, financial stress about wanting to give my spouse, kids, and friends everything with the stark realization that that is just not in the cards right now, the &*^%# Snowpocolypse, baby worries, and exhaustion.

This is the birth of our Savior, I will never let that fact escape me. I have had enough therapy to know that all of those other feelings are not to be ignored and the Infant was born to help me navigate through all of that which can so easily get in the way of Him.

Monday, December 22, 2008

It's so annoying

So I venture out into the snow-filled streets today to go to the gym. I love my family and all but, dang, I needed to get out of the house. I'm in the locker room and over hear a conversation that I had to bite my lip to avoid lol.

Girl One: "Yeah, I heard about those Body Buggs, but they seem like they would make me psychotic, counting my calories all time, it would like be so annoying."
Girl Two: "Yeah, being psychotic is so annoying"
Girl One: "Yeah, I was like really psychotic last summer, and it just wasn't working out for me".
Girl Two: "Yeah, I know."

Friday, December 19, 2008

Sleeps in Santa Hat

Mrs. Berry: Well, it seems that Christmas Break is finally here. There were three snow days this week. Well actually, one "it might really snow, so we better not open school" day. It was a bit disappointing because I was not able to finish recording my students work for their Christmas CD's we were making. I guess they will be New Year's CDs instead. The snow days have, however, given me the time to finish Christmas baking, creating and mailing out the thank you notes for TTYO's birthday presents nearly finish mailing out Christmas cards and nearly finishing the mounting of the cross-stitch Advent Calendar I started a year ago (pictures to come).

Yesterday it snowed all day and the neighbors came over for a bbq last night. The DH ran the bbq and made the most delicious (as always) burgers.

Today TEYO is over at Miss Ruby's, TTYO is "napping", and the DH ventured into work. Silence abounds for mama.

Sunday evening has been reserved for St. James Lesson and Carols concert. I hope that Jeff Renner is wrong again so that the show is not cancelled.

Gratitude: for a dog who loves to walk in the snow, the Dog Whisperer who reminds me that dogs live in the moment and are not, in fact, humans and need be treated as such, and an eleven year old who sleeps in her Santa Hat.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Sometimes it's best to just shut up.

Mosaics: Sunday was the Advent Fair and it went surprisingly well. I know that my art should stand alone, regardless of the opinion of others, but gee it it sure is keen to have strangers like it and whats more, cough up some cash.

Movies and books: Watched the very scary "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" the other night. Very creepy and what's more based on a true story.
I am half-way through "The Discovery of Heaven" and it is definitely kicking along! One of the characters got axed, which was a complete surprise and a bit sad. There is a surprising amount of sex in this book, which is not necessarily a bad thing.
"Get out of my life, but first will you drive Cheryl and I to the Mall" has become my "what to read on the elliptical trainer, when Oprah isn't on the tv" at the gym. The latest sage advice for parents of teenagers is "sometimes it's best to just shut up".

Mrs. B: My kids are so talented!! I cannot wait to share their holiday marimba work on my website. On the opposite end of the scale, however, it is ironic (or is it) that those classes who have the most behavior problems also seem to be the classes who struggle the most with playing as an ensemble.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I will NOT be three.

Mommy: The Three-Year Old's (ttyo) birthday party! Though ttyo is completely reluctant to be 3. She seems to think that this now requires a great deal of responsibility, such as peeing on the potty and picking up after herself. Both girls got new haircuts. Ttyo's first, by the way, and she was VERY reluctant. TEYO's is very nice too, and I actually caught her parting her hair with a comb and brushing it WITHOUT being asked. I am frequently struck by how beautiful my girls are.

Movies and books: Almost through the latest X-Files movie. Quite disappointing. Can we please get off the story line of Mulder working through his sister's abduction! PLEASE! I liked it much better when he was into porn and eating sunflower seeds.
I'm on pg. 260+ of the large tome. Seems that two higher-beings are watching the antics and creating life situations of the two main characters. They are also dissing Satan, so I assuming they are of the positive persuasion.
Speaking of persuasions, please check out "Prop 8- the Musical"on Jack Black is Jesus. Two snaps and a circle.

Mosaics: Sunday is the Advent Fair. Pray.

Mrs. B: Having a fabulous time with the new Holiday Marimba book. The overwhelming favorite is "Ukranian Bell Carol". ta, ti ti , ta.

Monday, December 1, 2008

What is that called?

Mrs. B: I don't know why, but after a four day weekend, I really lose the hang of being a teacher. Suddenly, I'm a first-year teacher on the first day. The good news is that by about the 3rd class, I got it back together, whereas a first-year teacher feels that way for the whole year! I can't remember any kid's name, couldn't even remember the word for "clipboard".

Happily recalling: TAYO's birthday party yesterday. It was quite wonderful. Many family and friends (25+) and yummy cake from Miss R. (I think a cake-war is in order for T and R!) Fun, fun presents and a little girl who was quite thrilled being at being the center of attention. The REAL birthday is tomorrow!!! Pictures to come.

Movies and books: Watched a very interesting indy-film called "Touch" about a stigmata. Christopher Walken fans should definitely take a look.
Half-way through "Get out of my life . . .". Still feeling a little sad.

Mosaics: Feeling alittle "under the gun" preparing for the Advent Fair on Sunday. Need to get it together. Saw pictures of this great mosaic-bench that had fish "with feet". May have to try that this summer.